Yes that is right, if you work with me you may hate me.  Well that is what some of my clients tell me, sounds a bit harsh, but it’s true.

This may sound strange, but I love it when that happens!

You may be thinking that surely I want my clients to love me, to be happy and shout it from the roof tops.  Here are 6 reasons why you may hate me when you work with me:

  1. I won’t let you hide – we all have that one thing we like to hide behind to make us feel safe, I see it with my clients all of the time. That little chuckle, the bold personality, the over confidence, the broad shoulders, the response of I’m alright it’ll be fine.  Sounds familiar?  Guess what, I will highlight it to you, because I am betting that underneath it all, you aren’t ok, with me you won’t get to hide, you may hate me!


  1. I will dig deeper – we all have things which we bury, my clients do this a lot. We tend to hide things we know we need to address, but we avoid it, not because we don’t want to change it, but because we are scared about how it might feel and what facing it might mean.  I will dig deeper; I will go on that journey with you, supporting you to find the courage to bring that ‘thing’ that holds you back, out in to view, and guess what, it will feel scary, and you may hate me!


  1. I will call you out on the negative stories you tell yourself – yes that is right, that little story we tell ourselves or others to help us make those excuses ok, to justify them, to make it ok to stay where we are and play it safe and stay small, do you recognise this? My clients try this all the time and guess what it doesn’t work with me!  When we are coaching together I will be bold, I will say things your friends would never say, and I will not support your excuses.  I will call you out on it and you won’t like it, in fact you may hate me!


  1. I will challenge you – are you someone who feels that you like to be challenged, many of my clients say they do and that it is something they don’t have enough of. Then they realise that they want more challenge on the things they like to do, or want to be challenged on.  When I challenge them on the things they are avoiding, they don’t enjoy it so much, not at the time.  When we work together I will challenge you to do those things you want to do, but have been using your excuses not to achieve… you may hate me!


  1. I will take you out of your comfort zone – being in our comfort zone is just that, it is comfortable, it feels safe and we know where we stand. Having the courage to step outside of that takes great bravery, it is scary, but it is the place where the magic happens.  When I encourage you to take that first step out of your comfortable space, you may just hate me!


  1. I will acknowledge, champion and compliment you – you may be thinking this is great? Funny enough, this is something my clients struggle with the most, because they like the old story; ‘I can’t because’, ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I am not worthy of…’ and receiving positive acknowledgements, championing and compliments can be uncomfortable and unfamiliar.  When I reflect back to you what I see or experience in our sessions, your bravery and courage, your success, your kind heart, your beautiful smile… the real you that you don’t always see, you may just hate me!

In answer to my earlier question, of course I want my clients to talk about me, but I don’t want them to tell people I am pink and fluffy, or wishy washy, I want them to tell people I am real and that what I do works.

Have you heard the expression ‘love and hate are two sides of the same coin’?  The clients that hate me the most also love me the most.  They are the people who I see the most transformation with, the ones who really blossom, the ones who then rave about me, not because I was soft, gentle and fluffy (which I can be if needed in a coaching session).  They talk about me for being strong, brave and courageous, for challenging them on the things that no one else dare, for giving them a safe space to truly be themselves, to say what they needed to say and for being right behind them every step of the way on their journey.  My clients say it is life changing!

So yes I love it when my clients hate me, because that means we are doing the real work which needs to be done and transformation is happening.  If you want to see if you hate me too, book yourself an introductory session, 30 minutes of your time could just change your life! I would love to meet you!

Author emrcoach

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