Life can move fast when we’re getting on with daily tasks, working and looking after loved ones. It’s easy to lose sight of our own needs and the things that make us feel happy and fulfilled.
Bringing about an awareness
When Louise first decided to try coaching, like many people she didn’t feel there was a particular problem.
‘Emma’s strapline called to me: ‘It could be a waste of your time or it could change your life’. I knew she was a nice person to talk to and I felt comfortable though I didn’t think I had any particular issues. I have a good background: happily married, a son, a nice house and no financial worries. It’s not like I have a really big story to tell.
People don’t have to have a major issue for coaching or for something terrible to happen. It’s just living. We all could do with coaching from time to time.
In hindsight I’d reached a certain time in my life where I was thinking, who am I now? It was essentially finding myself after a life time of change. That’s what we do, we change constantly all of the time.’
Change is a normal part of life. Some changes are positive and others can have a negative impact, especially if our feelings about them are not addressed. Coaching is a great tool for helping us recognise how change has affected us and exploring what can be done to move forwards in a positive way.
When I first work with a client it’s important to hear them, to listen and unpick what’s really going on beneath the surface. We all have an internal landscape and it’s here where we unconsciously hide things. Bringing feelings to the surface empowers us to make positive changes so we can live happier lives.
‘I noticed early on how Emma is extraordinarily perceptive in conversation. She’s got superb listening skills, but it’s her instinctive knowing of what’s going on while she’s just listening to you. It’s not even about asking the right questions: she just seems to know. It was that part of the process that really intrigued me.’
Dealing with grief
We all carry grief, because loss is part of living. Losing a loved one will happen to us all at some point in our lives. We all react differently to grief and it’s easy to think we’re ok when really we’re not. Coaching can help highlight hidden feelings so we can move forwards.
‘Emma picked up on some sorrowful things that happened in my life like losing my parents. It turned out that was really quite affecting me in my life now. I was looking back quite a lot, rather than focusing on now. We can’t change the past because it’s been and gone. Grieving for your parents is a normal thing, it’s not that you shouldn’t. It’s definitely good to talk about it, but it’s also important to live in the present and not in the past.’
When grief is having a negative impact it’s not that we should be moving on but more addressing how we feel. There is no magic pill and losing a loved one will always be there on some level but we can be happy in ourselves and go on with our lives.
‘I lost my Dad when I was 17 and my Mum in 2011. Coaching made me realise there was still quite a lot of grief there that wasn’t being dealt with and was being pushed to one side. I’d always had to be strong for everyone else. I needed to keep things together for my family so I didn’t realise, it was something I just lived with. Emma was really perceptive on that one. She could hear the sadness in me and just knew it was something I needed to address.’
Part of moving forwards in life in a positive way is recognising what we need and giving ourselves permission to be happy. It’s completely understandable how we can lose sight of who we are during our busy lives. Coaching helps us to remember what’s important to us so we can fulfil our full potential.
‘What I did with Emma was really powerful because it allowed me to do a stock take of my own life. I thought about myself and where I was, what talents I have. It was important for me to get back to who Louise is amongst all of this. You find especially as woman, you can end up living your life for your children and your husband. I was talking about my husband and what he does, how wonderful he is and how wonderful his business is. Then there’s my son and I’d say how great he is. I’d reached a point where I’d think, who am I then? Am I just the person who does the washing up? Am I the cleaner then? Who am I?
There are some quite wonderful things that I’m capable of doing as well, but I think I got lost in the wonderfulness of everyone around me.’
Coaching makes a positive impact on our relationship with ourselves and others.
‘Coaching led to me finding more time for myself. I continued my singing and joined a choir.
My husband and I also found more time as a couple. We went out more and enjoyed ourselves like we did before we had children and had proper time with each other. We rekindled our marriage. It hadn’t gone anywhere, we’ve always loved each other but we needed to spend some time together doing the things we enjoy. I remembered how much I like spending time with him, which is why we got married. The coaching reminded me I already have a nice marriage and made me enjoy my time on Earth a little bit more.
I started taking things a bit more in my stride, not being afraid to ask for help if I needed it and not being totally wound up in work. Emma helped me to have a more positive outlook. If something was winding me up I could leave it and just go for a walk and that would make me feel better. So it was a reminder that there are things other than work to do.
More from Louise…
Emma is kind and a very good person to speak to, because nothing changes by simply talking to someone, Emma somehow knows exactly what you’re thinking and helps you find positive and practical ways of dealing with those things so you can move on. Coaching improves everyday living because you’re dealing with things that maybe you’ve put off.
She is very worldly and has lived a life. Emma truly wants to help and is totally non-judgemental. You feel like there’s absolutely nothing you couldn’t tell her. She’d be able to help you with whatever aspect you talk about.
Through Emma I’ve developed myself and my confidence which has meant a lot.’
To find out how coaching can help you overcome the obstacles you face in your life get in touch. You can also book your introductory session, which could be a waste of 30 minutes of your time, or could just change your life!