I’m writing this blog, because so often I hear people saying that they don’t feel good enough and as it has been #mentalhealthawarenessday this week, I think now is a good time to talk about it.
But firstly, I want you to think about the following questions… What does being good enough mean? Who decides? And how do we know?
I think at times we’ve all thought we aren’t good enough, I know I’ve felt that way before, so have some of my friends and some of my amazing clients, it’s not a nice place to be.
The notion of not feeling good enough could creep into many areas of our lives: we may not feel good enough at our job or in our business, we may feel we aren’t a good enough friend or family member, partner or parent and so on. We may also feel people don’t care or we don’t deserve to be cared for or valued and maybe even go as far as thinking it would be better if we were not around…
These feelings can come from a particular incident, or experience, or we may not even be able to identify where they originated from, but it doesn’t make them any less valid or any less real to us at the time. These feelings can stop us living a full life, from building close relationships, going out with our friends or trying a new activity. They may also stop us from enjoying our work, going for that promotion, or from approaching our ideal client.
But again I ask…
Who decides what is or isn’t good enough? How do we know when we’ve reached the point where we are now ‘good enough’? What happens in this magical world of feeling ‘good enough’?
If someone you care about told you that they don’t feel good enough, what would your response be? I imagine you would find a list of things which you love about them, reasons you value having them in your life and so on…
I’d like you to think about someone who cares about you, what would their list for you look like? Really think, be honest, not from a place of not feeling good enough, but really see yourself through their eyes? I imagine they too would find a long list of things they love and value about you?
The thing is, like many things in life, this is about perception, our perception of ourselves, and no one judges us more harshly than we do. If I asked you to comment about someone else, I imagine you would go easier on them than you do yourself…
So I am going to challenge you, if you notice yourself not feeling good enough take a deep breath and take a moment to see yourself through a loved one’s eyes…
I want you to know that you absolutely are good enough, and you deserve to be loved and supported. It is OK not to be OK, and it is OK to reach out and ask for some additional help or support when you need it, it could be from a trusted friend or family member, your GP, or a trained professional like me. I know some people feel reaching out for help means they have failed, however I believe the opposite to be true and that it is brave and courageous.
If you would like some help with this, then please do reach out, I would love to help you, even if you would like some guidance on other places you can access support, you have to find what is right for you, do feel free to get in touch or book a 10 minute call or introductory session with me.
Until next time,
Emma
